You have all my respect for staying there and making small talk, because what Dessie would’ve done is pick up her loot, asks for his email and leave. Later on, Dessie would be sending him newsletter type of emails about good oral hygiene of the members of the church/cult/association of the Aggressive Tit-biters.
I laughed out loud about 7 times. This is such a mixture of cringe and funny. I saw it on the backdrop of my mind as a scene from a romantic comedy about a vaguely asexual main character with an inner monologue. Profoundly hilarious.
But on a more serious point, does highlight how sexually inexperienced men don't feel they can start a conversation about that and feel they have to dive straight in. So to speak.
I lost it at the apple comparison, you're so funny and also a lot stronger than me because I can't even handle a guy double texting me half the time and that's why I'm living vicariously through your substack
I’m in a quiet waiting room and this line made me laugh out loud 😆 “if he happened to be in a disastrous plane crash today, authorities needn’t bother his dentist; I have a perfect copy of his dental record imprinted into my boob skin.”
THE PLANE CRASH LINE SENT ME
hahaha thank you!
This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time and I need you to keep it on here so I can share it with my friends! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
went over better than expected so I think it stays 😆
you might not know it but this is the epitome of one night stand vibes (a silly goofy nightmare in some shape or form)
Well, glad to have had the quintessential experience I suppose 🤷🏻♀️
It’s giving fleabag!!!
I'll take that!
But like in the best way!
I took it in the best way (thank you!)
You have all my respect for staying there and making small talk, because what Dessie would’ve done is pick up her loot, asks for his email and leave. Later on, Dessie would be sending him newsletter type of emails about good oral hygiene of the members of the church/cult/association of the Aggressive Tit-biters.
Dessie I am genuinely laughing out loud
Seriously, I read this aloud to my husband and I laughed so hard I could barely get through it and I cried and almost peed. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Absolutely wild experience though, thank you for sharing!!
pls this is hilarious but also I'm sorry for your tit <3
thanks 😆
I laughed out loud about 7 times. This is such a mixture of cringe and funny. I saw it on the backdrop of my mind as a scene from a romantic comedy about a vaguely asexual main character with an inner monologue. Profoundly hilarious.
wow love that, thank you!!
I would have asked for a matching bite on the other tit to even them up.
Omg
But on a more serious point, does highlight how sexually inexperienced men don't feel they can start a conversation about that and feel they have to dive straight in. So to speak.
completely fair point. which I think could be reflective of insecurity and pressures to 'perform' which we know are all too prevalent
Immediate subscribe
❤️
No. This is not real. Please tell me it's not.
Unfortunately I cannot
GENTLEMAN'S RELISH!!!! i'm SOBBING thank you so much for sharing this story!!! 🤣🥲
youre so welcome 🫡😂
I lost it at the apple comparison, you're so funny and also a lot stronger than me because I can't even handle a guy double texting me half the time and that's why I'm living vicariously through your substack
thank you, glad to be of service 🤝
I’m in a quiet waiting room and this line made me laugh out loud 😆 “if he happened to be in a disastrous plane crash today, authorities needn’t bother his dentist; I have a perfect copy of his dental record imprinted into my boob skin.”
ha, love that!
Crazy, Vampirish story. Be careful, it’s this kind of month
lmao!!
this is so great, THANK YOU for sharing!
thank you, glad you enjoyed it!!